Isax
01-10-2012, 12:00 PM
I know my title sounds like a song you already knows but I can't think very well and it's the only that comes title to my mind. I can't keep a blank mind like this. I don't know how to fight it. I don't know how to struggle. How can you even struggle when the struggle itself is empty. The only place I see... I'm already there. Circles in circles among squares among circles withing ovals...
I don't undestand, and I don't think I'll ever get it. I wouldn't be in this forum if I did. This is a miserable discussion and a miserable thread for the miserable empty person I am. All alone. Everything is changing but nothing is gets anywhere. What can I say ? Should it be a short story or a book ? Who could get past the first chapters to bother about it ? Why fill the pages with empty words ? The worst kind of story to read is one that doesn't know where to end. I can't change it now. What is written cannot be undone. It is what it already is.
I try to dig my way through everything, and the more I dig, the more it encompasses me. Which way is up now? How am I supposed to know?
I can't deal with anything. Everything makes me mad, so I hate myself for being so frustrated with everyone and everything, and then I'm just miserable and frustrated. It's all falling apart. I'm so sick. I hate myself more than I even know.
I love everyone. but I hate myself. But I am empty Are my eyes open? Can I see or have they rolled up into my head?At this point it's not much more than dust. If I can't pull it together in a week for the next semester then... what's left? I don't even know.
It seems like all I ever do here is just dump on you all. I come in here and spew a bunch of nonsense then go off to cry somewhere. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to me. What is fair, anyway? and what am I?
Annoying. Useless. Worthless. Unacceptable.
I don't undestand, and I don't think I'll ever get it. I wouldn't be in this forum if I did. This is a miserable discussion and a miserable thread for the miserable empty person I am. All alone. Everything is changing but nothing is gets anywhere. What can I say ? Should it be a short story or a book ? Who could get past the first chapters to bother about it ? Why fill the pages with empty words ? The worst kind of story to read is one that doesn't know where to end. I can't change it now. What is written cannot be undone. It is what it already is.
I try to dig my way through everything, and the more I dig, the more it encompasses me. Which way is up now? How am I supposed to know?
I can't deal with anything. Everything makes me mad, so I hate myself for being so frustrated with everyone and everything, and then I'm just miserable and frustrated. It's all falling apart. I'm so sick. I hate myself more than I even know.
I love everyone. but I hate myself. But I am empty Are my eyes open? Can I see or have they rolled up into my head?At this point it's not much more than dust. If I can't pull it together in a week for the next semester then... what's left? I don't even know.
It seems like all I ever do here is just dump on you all. I come in here and spew a bunch of nonsense then go off to cry somewhere. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to me. What is fair, anyway? and what am I?
Annoying. Useless. Worthless. Unacceptable.