Hey teenbar guys I'm just trying to see if this problem that my friend is having makes any sense and I also need some advice on the situation as well as I don't know what to choose for this problem. There must be appropriate decisions to take and appropriate actions to do but I'm kinda lost right now.
A friend (Let's call her person A) was in a very abusive relationship with one of my other friends (let's call him asshole) which had lasted 3 or 4 years -give or take- and they decided to live together in a flat that belongs to asshole parents. They are 16 an 17 and I though it's kind of weird to move to a flat so soon but she says you have to make it on your own very soon and get used to it, you gotta take actions on your own soon so it won't be such a great shock when you leave mom and dad and statistics say teens that choose to get on their own soon have a better chance to make it bla bla bla ... When their relation fell apart they started seeing each other on and off for sometime and they choose to take things slowly "as in still together" and then out of nowhere he says that he has a new girlfriend (Let's call her dyke)
And person A was pregnant from asshole but because of the stress with every actions he took to put the preasure on her she lost the baby. And he didn't give a shit about it. Even he says that he loves kids and appart from the fact that (asshole) and (dyke) both hate my guts right now for reasons that i dont even no what the hell is going on so yeah
So now person A is very sad and depressed and she tells me that she is over him but she doesn't make any actions to forget him and everything until tonight when she calls me and says out of no where that she loves him and that she wants to be with him and stuff like that
What I really want to know is what I should choose to do to help her change her mind... she is so sad and depressed I don't even know what to do...
I mean im just kinda lostt at the moment and i have no idea whats going on
Should I choose to just stand back and watch what will happen and be there if they need me or something along those lines ??
What do you guys think ???
The guy you call person A in your thread seems to get some self destructive behavior here. It is a common pattern that women who are in abusive relationships are viewing reality in a twisted way and their replies to difficult situations is excessive. And this mays happen even after physical separation are done and actions of expressing anger have been taken.
In order to solve your problem, maybe we should take a virtual point of view and leave asshole and dyke on the side a moment and just look at your relation with person A... Choose your actions carefully, I have heard many stories about telling someone with person A profile the truth that destroys the friendship. You could become a symbol to her of how others try and destroy what she wants. The solution here is to support her without judging as much as possible... And I know that is hard. Statistics say just 30% of people in your situation succeed to it.
You seem like a very active and extroverted young woman, and I think you have to curb that instinct when you are with her. Go very easy in discussing whether or not she should try to restart relationship with asshole. Try to find abstract undirect ways to be there for her and help her feel better about herself.
As for the other two (called asshole and dyke), are they close friends ? Are they around just because of person A ? If they can take actions inside your social circle then stry uninvolved is possible. Maybe that is why they are giving you the old stink eye, they may be hearing from person A or other friends about your views on this subject.
Don't take too many actions in order to put yurself in the middle of such a mess. The only time you should step in might be if someone was in danger of physically hurt, and then you should be phoning the cops and not putting yourself into harms way.
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